Blues

It’s a very early Saturday morning. I actually didn’t fall asleep until 4 am last night because I was working from 4pm to 2am. That night didn’t go to waste, however: Right now, I am at the library waiting for someone so I can discuss a research topic I thought of at 3:45 in the morning. Dear goodness. But I have other things that I have to do this morning, so I will do that as I wait. For now, I’m just writing and writing and writing and writing and writing…wasting the morning away for 15 minutes….and writing and writing and writing and writing…because I have to do this…and because I do want to really write, express myself, and improve my writing…oh i probably shouldn’t do a PhD if I can’t even form a good sentence. But there’s time. I have two more years til I graduate and I go waste away my life at a graduate program, maybe in Stanford, or Yale, or Northwestern, or maybe the state up north. JK, I’m not going to waste away my life. Last night I thought of something to blog, but I’m not going to tell you all because that would spoil everything away. Although it is kind of related to what i was saying in my ‘distractions’ entry. so yes. seven more minutes? this kind of writing…the stream-of-consciousness-writing? Haha, I miss this, I miss it when I just write random things and just write what’s on my mind, even if it’s just ‘blablablablablablablablabla’ yeah i’ve actually written it very many times. i really wish i stuck to writing. apparently ‘sticked’ …well…it doesn’t exist…i should have known (facepalm). anyway, i do wish i stuck to writing. i found that when i write i can also express myself quite well in oral communications. and i wish i was sitting at a different spot right now because there’s light literally heating my eye and distracts me and just blinds me. by the way, i will be talking french in the future. not just french topics but topics in french. yes, i will write them in french. but anyway. french fries. my ra told me last year that when he went to france, french people are so slim because of their eating portions. he saw this one guy order a pack of french fries, eating one very slowly, and just threw the fries away after that. yeah. haha. i have actually found satisfaction in just eating little things. european life. yeah, i’m kind of wishing to have a european lifestyle, especially with its minimalist (couldn’t find a better word) approach to things. mainly when it comes to eating. and also dressing. yeah they don’t have a lot of clothing honestly. there is this thing called the french wardrobe, where you only have very few clothes. i’m trying to put away some of my clothes, give them, throw them away, etc. but anyway my 15 minutes is up so bye.

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